Think of Me
by Kathy Rose
Summary: Malcolm and Hoshi are apart. Missing scenes to season 3's "Exile," when Hoshi stays behind with a telepathic alien seeking information about the Xindi while Enterprise goes off to track down a sphere in the Expanse.


(A/N: This was written for the 2013 Valentine's song challenge at The Delphic Expanse. It's inspired by "Hello, It's Me," by Todd Rundgren. Beta'd by Artisticmom2.)

Malcolm viewed Hoshi and himself as bookends, one on either side of the captain's chair on the bridge. There was no way they could be considered a matched set. But they did serve complementary purposes, she at communications and he at tactical, and they both acted at the captain's command.

After serving almost three years together, Malcolm had become used to being around her almost every day. It was strange not to see her across the command well, a hand to her earpiece as she ran through frequencies or sent off messages from her console. Seeing someone else where she should have been made him feel like a part of him was missing.

It was true that, at first, Hoshi's expertise with languages had almost been overshadowed by her constant need for reassurance. Her inexperience had exasperated him. To say that she hadn't been suited for space service was an understatement. She hadn't even been rated on the new phase pistols before being assigned to _Enterprise_. The captain had ordered him to help better her proficiency with that weapon not long after the ship had launched.

Now that Malcolm thought back on it, he realized that those training sessions were when a shift in his attitude toward her had started. As he had adjusted her stance in the armory firing range, he had been all too aware that he was standing next to not just a crew member, but a beautiful, intelligent woman.

He found himself impressed by how she had held herself together and had worked to see through whatever needed to be done. She had gained a lot of confidence over the years.

She was full of surprises, too. There had been the time a tentacled lifeform had tried to assimilate the captain, Trip, and several other crew members. Malcolm's first instinct had been to kill the thing and be done with it, but as it turned out, that would have killed the humans, too. Hoshi, though, had figured out a way to communicate with it, thereby saving their shipmates.

Timid little Hoshi also would have been the last one he would have thought to suggest setting off all the torpedoes at once to keep a Klingon ship they were on from being pulled into a gas giant. Her idea had been a brilliant solution in more ways than one.

Exasperating. Beautiful. Brilliant. Hoshi was a contradiction that both frustrated and fascinated him. He wouldn't change her for anything. He loved her just the way she was.

But he knew he would never act on his feelings for her, at least not while they served together. For one thing, she had never shown that kind of interest in him, although there had been that time when he had badly misinterpreted her intent. She had offered to fix enchiladas for him in her cabin. He had thought it was an invitation for intimate fraternization, but all she had been doing was trying to find out his favorite food for his birthday. He was still embarrassed about that, as he supposed she was, but the passage of time had enabled him to see the humor in the incident.

No, anything other than friendship with Hoshi would be outside the bounds of propriety since they had to work closely together. He was usually content to love her from afar. There were times he even convinced himself that it was enough merely to be near her.

This situation, however, wasn't one of them. While _Enterprise _was going off to find a sphere in the Expanse, she was going to be alone with a telepathic alien who said he could discern information about the Xindi from a piece of the weapon used to attack Earth. Even worse, he was a male alien, one who seemed inordinately interested in Hoshi as a woman. There was no one else on the entire planet; Hoshi would be on her own.

Adding to Malcolm's unease was the knowledge that, when Hoshi had first told him that there might be an intruder on the ship, he hadn't believed her. He had of course conducted a thorough search, but nothing had turned up to explain the voice she said had been communicating with her. He had posited that the stress of their mission might be getting to her. He had been rather condescending about it – right up until they'd arrived at the coordinates she said this alien had given her, and he had seen the archaic castle where Tarquin lived.

It reminded him again of their roles as bookends, each of them bringing different strengths to their duties. He had to rely on the physical, while she had a better grasp of non-tangibles. He should have remembered that when she had first come to him about the voice she had been hearing.

Malcolm stared at the viewscreen as _Enterprise _left orbit. He wished he could have stayed there with Hoshi, but his wishes had no bearing on the matter. He was needed on the ship, and she had insisted on staying behind. They both knew how important it was to stop the Xindi before they could destroy Earth. She had chosen duty before personal safety, no matter how much either of them might wish otherwise.

He tore his gaze away from the viewscreen, praying that Hoshi would be all right, and wondered if she was thinking of him.

* * *

Even without telepathy of her own, Hoshi had been able to tell that Malcolm wasn't happy about leaving her here. He had suggested that _Enterprise _stay until Tarquin came up with information about the Xindi. She had half hoped that the captain would agree, or at least order Malcolm to stay with her. Unfortunately, they didn't have the time to waste waiting on what, if anything, Tarquin might find, and Malcolm's duty was on the ship, just as hers was here alone with an alien she didn't trust.

Tarquin scared Hoshi. Her thoughts and memories were an open book to him, but the reverse wasn't true. He knew everything about her; she knew next to nothing about him. The worst part was that she couldn't tell when he was digging around in her mind.

Tarquin must have picked up her thoughts about Malcolm, because when the reptile-looking alien changed to appear human, he bore a passing resemblance to _Enterprise'_s tactical officer: the same build and height, dark hair, gray eyes. Tarquin had to have seen in her mind that she was repulsed by his true appearance, but to appear as a person with whom she always felt safe made her suspicious. Then, when she realized that he wanted her to be the next in a string of companions who had lived out their lives with him, she could only surmise that Tarquin had been trying to manipulate her by looking like someone she not only trusted, but to whom she was attracted. She had never acted upon that attraction, but that was beside the point. Tarquin shouldn't be using her affection for Malcolm as a way to coerce her.

Tarquin must have realized his mistake, because the last time he took human form, it was in the guise of Captain Archer. For a few moments, she had actually believed he was her commanding officer - until he had told her it was all right for her to remain with Tarquin until the Xindi crisis was resolved, and that it wouldn't be possible to say goodbye to her friends aboard the ship. Her fear had changed to anger at the deception, which in turn had given her courage.

If there was one thing Hoshi had learned about tactics from Malcolm, it was to exploit an opponent's weakness. Tarquin's was the fear of being alone. In exile, his only way of contacting anyone who was mentally receptive to him was an egg-shaped device that amplified his telepathic ability. When Tarquin had tried to blackmail her by threatening to harm everyone on _Enterprise _if she didn't stay with him permanently, she had snatched the fragile device from his desk. It would make no difference if she stayed, she told him, because she would break the device, and after she died at the end of her natural lifespan, he would again be alone – for the rest of his life.

Considering that Tarquin's species was very long lived, it had been a powerful threat. Hoshi had every intention of carrying it out if necessary. Given the alien's predilection for rummaging around in her mind, she was certain Tarquin knew she meant it.

* * *

Malcolm peered out the front window as the shuttlepod set down. Hoshi, a duffel bag at her feet, was standing with her back to the landing spot. She was alone.

He popped the hatch and got out. Surely she had heard the shuttlepod's approach over the howling wind. But she was staring at Tarquin's imposing residence as he walked toward her. When he reached her, he put a hand on her shoulder.

Hoshi's reaction was immediate. She jumped and spun around, her eyes wide in surprise. She was clutching something that looked like a glass ostrich egg.

Startled by her reaction, he said, "Hello, it's me."

The tension left her posture as she registered his presence. "Let's get out of here," she said. She frowned. "But first..."

Malcolm watched as she carefully placed the egg-like object on the ground. She cast one last glance toward the doors of Tarquin's home before hurrying to the shuttlepod. Malcolm looked down at the object, then over at the building, catching a glimpse of the alien looking back through one of the frost-coated window panes.

Malcolm wasn't sure what had happened between Hoshi and the alien, but he was sure he wouldn't like it. He turned on his heel and returned to the shuttlepod.

Hoshi was strapping herself in at one of the auxiliary stations as Malcolm climbed in. He was sorely tempted to ask how her visit had been, but decided against it, and he continued on to the pilot's seat. He contented himself with knowing she was again with him, and he was taking her back to where they both belonged.

Concentrating on the departure procedures, Malcolm didn't hear Hoshi's relieved sigh, or see that she was watching him with a small, contented smile on her lips.


End file.
